Stranger
by AcousticMemory
Summary: One year after the destruction of the Lambent and Locust, life continues on for our favorite squad. Mostly at least. Rated M for mature themes, and the good ol' Delta Squad language. A bit of smut a bit later on. Chapter 1 officially up!
1. Prologue :: Stranger to Love

Stranger

Vive La Viveca

Disclaimer: I do no own the Gears of War series (books or games), nor do I earn any cash from this adventure. Though that would make up for the $100 I spent on the books and the 3rd game this month if I did.

Prologue: Stranger to Love

Marcus Fenix was no stranger to pain. He had lost everything; his best friends, his family, and some where along the way, even a bit of his sanity. Not that one necessarily **needed** their sanity in these days. There were so few humans left... quite a few Stranded had been wiped out by the Locust, even more by the lambent plague. Most of what was left of the COG and the URI had banded together on the isle of Azura, turning it into a safe fortress that could house what was left of both of both of their governments. There had been a few skirmishes between the soldiers but nothing that had gotten out of hand, and most of it really was personal.

Marcus was doing everything he could to keep it together; deep breathing exercises, getting involved with every project he could, whether he was experienced in the trade or not. Anything to keep his mind occupied.

Of course, one couldn't always be working, as much as they wanted to. At night he was forced to retire to his room, try to sleep the 8 hours away... it wasn't easy. He hadn't slept a full 8 hours in nearly 18 years. There wasn't enough time to. He was needed to protect what was left of humanity, and as a Gear, he had learned long ago that sleep was little and far in between. They got everything else they needed after all.

He tossed. He turned. He murmured in his sleep. Every battle, every life lost... Dom, Carlos, his father... All of them... their faces haunted him in his sleep, whispering words of disappointment and abandonment. He felt like he had let them all die, like he hadn't tried hard enough to keep them alive. He hated that feeling more than the emptiness in his heart after waking in a cold sweat, vomiting up everything he had eaten for supper earlier. Stress and nerves were getting to him. It was hard suddenly turning into a civilian after so long of being nothing but a hardcore soldier.

Life had seemed to move on for everyone else. Rebuilding humanity was going to take a long time, lots of work and effort seemed to go into every vegetable grow, every chicken raised. Children were the heart and soul of the new society, and they were finally free to run around and play. They seemed to enjoy their newfound freedom more than anyone.

Baird and Sam had gotten together, against all odds. They still bickered back and forth like an old couple... Speaking of old couples, Colonel Victor Hoffman had retired to the quiet life of barking orders at construction workers, Bernie Mataki barking orders just as loudly at the men hauling stuff back and forth. Hoffman particularly liked yelling at Marcus if he was the supervisor of any job he was doing. And frankly, he made sure he was. Marcus didn't mind much, he just tuned him out unless it was important.

Cole had started two Thrashball teams... old COG members and civvies vs. URI members and some of the Stranded that had made it to the island. They played on the beach for the most part, though they hoped to be able to build an actual field some time in the future. There was a mass of mainland near by that was perfect for it, in all reality.

Anya... well... Anya had stuck by his side through it all... Every ounce of grieving he had done, she had been there to hold his hand, to sooth his raw soul... He had long since memorized every curve of her body, every sound she made, from the indecisive "hmm" she made while inspecting something, to the soft moans she only shared with him when the lights went out.

Marcus had lost everything he held dear to him. Yet, every morning when he woke up to that beautiful blond head of hair on his chest, he felt as if he had the entire world in his hand. He was no stranger to pain... he was just a stranger to **love**.

A.N: Any fans of mine, that are waiting to see one of my other stories updated, I AM working on them currently, this is just a new series I'm starting based off my new obsession. College has been brutal lately. Most things will have an update SOON. Thank you for your patience, and hope everyone enjoys! R&R!


	2. Chapter 1 :: A Long Night

Stranger

Vive La Viveca

Disclaimer: I do no own the Gears of War series (books or games), nor do I earn any cash from this fanfiction. It's just for pure enjoyment and creative outlet.

Chapter 1 : A Long Night

Some days Marcus couldn't believe the shit he ended up in, whether by his own will or the actions of others.

Of course it was his fault; he was Hoffman's favorite person to give shit to, and it wasn't like Baird was going to take responsibility for what he did. He was the only engineer on site, so everyone else got the grief, not him.

Marcus was good at tuning people out that he didn't want to listen to, yet still being able to reply quick enough to not get caught doing so. He studied the map of the island that had been drawn up and the plans that had been made for making Azura able to hold even more people. The colonization of a near-by mass of mainland had started as well, and Hoffman had been "voted" in charge until further notice. It only made the old colonel surlier than usual. "You fucking listening to me Fenix?" Hoffman's glare told Marcus that even if he ATTEMPTED to say yes, the old man knew better.

"No sir," the grudge between Marcus and Hoffman had faded out a while back, but there was still a lingering battle between them, two men who were too stubborn to admit the other was right at times. Bernie liked to call it the Battle of the Thick-Skulls. She had been threatening to put them in a boxing ring and sell tickets to the event lately, though Marcus knew she'd never do it. She worried about Hoffman's health too much for that. Marcus couldn't say much though; ranting and yelling at Marcus was the least of Hoffman's problems, but it seemed to help let off the steam he needed to let off. Marcus would take it if if meant there were no more deaths on his watch.

"Of course not. What the hell was I thinking? Marcus Fenix actually listening for once? Ha!" Hoffman sat in his chair. "Go get some sleep, before Bernie and Anya skin me. You look like a pile of shit that got blown through a fan. Apparently that's _my_ problem for some reason."

"The women have to blame it on someone sir, you're just the easiest target since you're in charge," Marcus nodded and stood up, heading to the door. "Might want to get some of that sleep-shit too. If I look like shit, I can't imagine what that would make you."

He left before Hoffman could even get out another word; the colonel really did look awful. He had the fucking weight of the world on his shoulders, everyone knew that. _Too bad he can't pass the tough shit off to someone else this time. He's too old for this shit. _Even Marcus was a tad concerned.

The courtyard was buzzing with workers and construction, the chainsaw bayonets of Lancers cutting through wooden boards and thing metal pipes. The sun was out, as usual, something he still hadn't quite gotten used to. In Jacinto nearly every day for the first three years had been covered with ash and dark clouds. After that it had always been cloudy from the pollution in the air, or the sun would come out for a day, only to retreat back to a safer haven.

"Heeey! Marcus! Ya got out alive! I already kicked Damon's ass for ya, if it makes ya feel any better!" Cole was sitting on the platform of some scaffolding, eating a sandwich lovingly made by the squad mother, Bernie.

Cole was a great guy; even Marcus appreciated Cole's cheerful exterior and energy. Nothing ever got him down, one thing Marcus wished he had. He acted bulletproof, but Cole's aura just screamed 'it's all going to be okay.' Marcus's just announced 'I'm a fucking asshole, so fuck off'. "Thanks Cole, one less ass for me to kick later on," Marcus gave a nod. Cole was huge even by Gear standards. Marcus never wanted to be on Cole's bad side, if he even had one.

"Hey, the team's practicing tonight! Come down and watch us! After that maybe we can round up a few assholes and play a game! I'll get Baird and you can tackle the shit outta him as payback!" Cole gave a wide grin, hopping down and patting him on the shoulder.

Once upon a time Marcus loved Thrashball. He never played it much during or after high school except for backyard games with a few classmates, but if they couldn't watch a game, he, Carlos and Dom would catch it on the radio. COG vehicles managed to pick that up no matter where they were.

Cole watched Marcus fall deep into his thoughts, his eyes dimming slightly. It was the only indication Cole had that he was thinking about his fallen brother again. Cole wished like hell he could bring Dom back from the dead. They could use a man like him right now. "Yo, Marcus...?"

"Sorry, Cole. I haven't had much sleep because of all the work going on. I'll come by if I get a nap in later," Marcus nodded and kept walking, heading down to the beach. Cole shook his head and sighed.

"We gotta lot of fixing to do," Cole murmured, not talking about the current construction.

Marcus sat down on a boulder, starting out at the clear blue ocean.

They were **gone**.

Dom and his dad were dead, and there was no hope of getting them back. Marcus had never held that hope. Carlos' death had bereft him of that feeling a long time ago. The last time he had even gotten close to hope, it had failed him miserably.

He hated feeling so helpless. He had lost so much, yet so many had lost everything. Self-pity was not an option for him. He still had things; he had Anya, his squad. He had Bernie who had proclaimed herself the unofficial mother of Delta squad. Hell, even Hoffman was prone to not being a dick on occasions. And even when he was, it normally had it's place and purpose. Still... he wanted to talk to Dom. He wanted to have one last drink and laugh with Carlos. He wanted to finally have that heart-to-heart with his dad that he had secretly always longed for, ever since he was a kid.

Nothing could replace what he had lost.

The world was at peace, yet he still felt so restless. Sleeping was getting harder every day, even after breaking his back all day long and then coming back to the room just to give his body to Anya. More often than not he wore her out before he was even close to done. Sure, he was tired... he just wasn't ready to close his eyes for more than twenty minutes at a time. Life in the military was partially to blame, but every time he closed his eyes and truly slept, the pictures haunted him.

He didn't pull the trigger... he never tossed them to the wolves. He didn't _ask_ them to spare their lives so he could live.

But he couldn't stop them either.

That's why it was all his fault. Because, to an extent... he never **tried**.

"Marcus Fenix, the hell you doing sitting around here?" a voice shook him from his deep thought. Bernie stood there, watching him. She had finally started to get some of her original color back from spending so much time outside commandeering the construction operations. Her age was starting to show a bit.

"Uh, sitting. I'm off-duty, orders of your old man," Marcus grunted when she took a seat next to him. He wasn't in the mood for company, but last time he had told Bernie no, he had gotten the tongue-lashing of a lifetime. He felt like that was worse than having to actually talk to someone. "Unless that's illegal, now?"

"Hmm I'm not very good at listening to Vic am I, so it's completely possible," Bernie was a good friend, and had always been. She took her duties to her squad to heart, even if it meant that she had to let all the big boys do the work for her. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Make that a dollar and maybe I'll share," Marcus shook his head at the old joke. "Not that it would go very far. Better make it a chicken. Sources tell me you're great at killing them?"

Bernie stared at the sand. "Marcus, sweetie, are you **really** okay? You've been even more distant lately than usual... everyone's worried... even Vic, though he'll never say it out loud to anyone," her eyes were full of concern when she looked back up at him, searching his face for something.

Marcus stared back at her unblinkingly, trying to decide whether or not he could unload on her. He knew she had a lot on her plate between taking care of Hoffman and pulling what she thought was her own weight around the island. He didn't want to burden her more, but she was the most likely to understand. "Some days I think Baird's right about the whole caring thing… that it's better off to just not do it… don't EVER tell him I said that either," he said, looking back out to the ocean. "It hurt when I thought my dad died the first time, but I was too busy being court martialed and thrown in prison to really think much about it. Now… now it feels real… and I fucking hate it."

The older woman watched his face, trying to read him. Marcus Fenix wasn't a simple person to understand, he was always a mystery to her. But there were habits of his that everyone could read depending on the situation. A tilt of the head, a certain type of grunt, the way he said the word 'shit'… All of it translated to something.

Currently his eyes seemed focused on a world far away, not seeing what most would consider a beautiful scene in front of them. She knew what he was thinking about, REALLY thinking about. "Feelings aren't a bad thing Marcus. It means you're still human after all the bullshit you've had to put up with. Baird's an ass, but even he feels… Sam wouldn't give him the time of day otherwise, now would she? Hell, he was actually NICE to me the other day, the little shit!" she laughed. "Never expected that… It's not going to stop hurting… that pain is now a VERY big part of you, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it other than to try to move on with life. You have a woman ready to give you **everything** if you just ask for it… You got a set of friends that would take a bullet for you if you weren't always running so far ahead of everyone… You aren't alone, sweetie…"

Marcus just shook his head before putting it in his hands and slouching forward a bit. "I know that. Not something that's fucking easy to forget these days but… dammit Bernie it's not what I **want**… The people I want to see most right now, I'll never be able to talk to again, and I'm not going to start writing letters to the dead. It always seemed so fucking easy to move on before…" he growled out, frustrated more than Bernie realized. She saw what the problem was already… It just wasn't one she could fix.

"It's because there's nothing to numb you to the pain… before there was fighting, **always** fighting. You could easily forget because you could run on adrenaline all day long; just sawing through grubs and not even bothering to think of anything else. You were busy… Here, there's plenty of downtime, it gives you time to make those realizations…" It was so easy to explain yet so hard to understand. Yes Bernie had lost plenty, but she had the people she needed most around her. "Maybe you should take up knitting. Don't look at me like that, that shit's hard as hell!"

Marcus raised an eyebrow at her. "And you know…?"

"Well if Baird or Cole ever give me grandbabies I have to be able to knit them little socks and stuff… Not like Sam's going to do it," Bernie gave a dismissive shrug. "Plus. My man doesn't have as much hair on his head as me… was thinking a nice hat for the cold days, something bright and colorful."

"I'd fucking pay to see that," Marcus gave that twitch of the left side of his lip, closest he had ever gotten to smiling in her memory. "I'll… find something to do… I just need time… and a nap. A nap sounds good…"

He stood and glanced at her. "Thanks, Bernie…" he gave a curt nod and headed back towards the building without another word. She watched his back as he walked away, wondering if he would ever heal.

"Marcus?" Anya entered the room, looking around as she took her clothes off. It seemed odd he wasn't there yet; he seemed so determined to get back to their room and away from people earlier. She shrugged it off and showered. A nap sounded amazing about now. She was pulling double shifts to help out with comms, but it wasn't doing her energy any good. At least they had a full communications system up and running throughout the place, simply an upgrade to the one already in place. If it was the best she could get, she would make it work.

She was just drifting off into a light sleep when the door opened and Marcus entered, looking a little worse for wear. There was a look in his eyes of hopelessness, and she knew he was thinking of Dom and his dad again. It hadn't even been a full year since that loss by her calculations… It would be raw for a while longer. She just didn't like seeing him so lost. "Hey, Anya," he greeted her, pulling off his do-rag and scratching his head as he sat on the edge of the bed. He started undoing his boots, setting them over to the side within easy reach. It was an old habit for all of the Gears. "You look tired."

Stating the obvious was the norm for Marcus these days. It was his way of trying to fill the silence that before he hadn't seemed to mind. It was like he was trying to talk, he just didn't know how to react to people. He had never been the best at that.

"Yeah, it was a long day. Where were you? You seemed so determined to get back to the room earlier, I was a bit surprised when you weren't here…" she said, rolling onto her side and staring at his muscled back. She had always thought him handsome, from the first day she met him. She always figured he would never be hers though. The nights they had spent together were amazing, but he was a soldier down to his core; he hardly ever stayed the night in case he was needed in a fight, and the words "I love you" were never said between them. It was something she had always wanted to hear from him, but she knew once he said it would just sound odd out of his mouth.

"Yeah, I was until fucking Baird blew shit up and Hoffman decided that I was the one to take the shit for it," he grumbled as he lay down, and Anya caught the many curses to Baird under his breath. He was pissed off. She rested her head on his chest, wrapping and arm around him and trying to calm him down. He sighed and looked down at her, slipping an arm underneath her body and pulling her as close as he could manage. "Should be used to it by now, shouldn't I."

"No. I'd be pissed off too," Anya admitted, looking up at him. This was one of those moments she could just lay here and enjoy her life. Some days she could almost forget how fucked up the world was outside of their bedroom, if she just closed her mind off from all the bullshit. "Come on, just forget about it. Hoffman's just stressed out. He takes it out on you because you don't run away crying like everyone else does."

Anya was slowly learning how to read Marcus. She knew the sigh he gave next was one of resignation. "Yeah, you're right..." he buried his face in her hair and closed his eyes. If it wasn't for his uneven breathing pattern she would have thought him asleep already. "How tired are you exactly?"

She ran her hand down his chest and underneath his shirt, caressing his muscles and running her fingers over his old scars. "Mmm, not tired enough to sleep apparently," she lied. She would stay awake as long as she needed to for him, even if it meant being dead tired tomorrow morning. He was the love of her life, and that meant she did everything in her power to make him happy.

Suddenly she found herself on her back, Marcus hovering just inches above her. She couldn't help but smile. "Hmm I think I can change that," he leaned down and kissed her passionately, his hand wandering down her body.

"It's going to be a long night isn't it?"

"Always is."

A.N.: So yeah, this is the next chapter. Yes it gets better, and yes there will be sex later on. I'm not sure all the chapters will be this long really, but I'm attempting it anyways. I have no beta reader yet, so any spelling or grammar or anything such as that goes unmonitored. I'll fix it after.


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